“The Harper.” by Vlas Mikhailovich Doroshevich (1864–1922). The Emperor Jin-La-O, may his memory be sacred to the whole braid-adorned world, was a wise and just Emperor. One day he summoned his entourage and said to them: – I would like to learn the name of the greatest villain in all of Beijing – in order […]

Lately, I found myself unable to resist the temptation to translate this very pertinent classic to English. If you, reader, know of a better translation, do not hesitate to write in. And so, here goes: “The Story of One Wetnurse.” by Vlas Mikhailovich Doroshevich (1864–1922). Emperor Jing-Li-O, nicknamed Hao-Tu-Li-Chi-San-He-Nun, which means Justice Itself, once woke […]

Lately, I found myself unable to resist the temptation to translate this very pertinent classic of science fiction to English. If you, reader, know of a better translation, do not hesitate to write in. Meanwhile, here goes: “The Star Diaries of Ijon Tichy: The Advantages of a Dragon.” Stanislaw Lem (1921-2006). Until now, I’ve said […]

Below is an entirely unofficial translation of “Иногда ночью мне снится лодка”, by Alexander Pokrovskiy — an old sailor-turned-memoirist, AFAIK entirely unknown in the English reich. On some nights, I dream about the boat. It is underway, beneath the water. I dream about it after I’ve had a very tiring day. The dream is always […]

Rumor has it that a well-known industrial giant will soon attempt to bring head-mounted displays back into fashion. One ought to remember that, for a number of reasons, they were never really “in” fashion to begin with.  To my knowledge, every single one ever marketed fell into one of the following categories: Military toy, priced […]