His titanic bandwidth, it turns out, was provided gratis by Akamai – spamatronicists par excellence and industrial-scale enablers of everything that makes the modern-day WWW a rancid sewer. Until it wasn’t. As soon Krebs began to cost them serious coin, he was dropped like a discarded candy wrapper.
And I’m expected, apparently, to see the misadventures of Krebs as a lamentable thing. But I do not — and am quite ready to explain why not to the patient and curious reader.
Krebs is renowned for his investigations of “cybercrime”, which in his eyes consists of Russian (for some… reason – almost exclusively Russian) spammers, malware artists, and “carders”.
Now, spam as we know it exists largely for two purposes: to mooch, by various means, from the great gas giants of advertising-crapolade, e.g., Google; and to spread malware. The latter exists mainly to facilitate “carding.” 3
And if we listen to Krebs and his ilk, we might believe that these problems are problems because there is a faraway country, full of evil untermenschen, who like nothing more than to steal the last penny from every honest American Joe, and to pollute his Precious Bodily Fluids. And who decided that the best way to do this is to write virii and send spam.
And Krebs would also have us believe that the pill against such headaches is to make a pompous WWW site, with many flow charts, containing some names of especially-uppity untermenschen who are then to be kidnapped by NATO gauleiters and shipped, bound and gagged, to American prisons..
Now apparently, if we listen to Krebs et al., writing virii is a “cybercrime” — but forcefeeding Microsoft’s sorry excuse for an operating system to the ~entire planet, for decades, somehow is not.
And stealing credit card numbers is a “cybercrime” — but forcing people to use a financial system where someone can drain your account by learning a constant string, printed in plain text4 on a piece of plastic in your pocket, somehow is not.
And guess what else – distributing amateur-hour “spyware” is a “cybercrime” — but artfully sabotaging open source software somehow is not. When you’re the NSA.
Because it is not about “crime”. It is about the hegemony of a particular set of crowned criminals whom Krebs shills for.
When I wrote to Krebs regarding the Mahmood Khadeer bombshell – the most recent and spectacular of a series of discoveries proving the existence, in the wild, of sabotaged PGP clients – there was no response.
Which, in retrospect, ought to have been no sort of surprise. Because the mass5 sabotage of RSA implementations was not a crime authored by any criminal Krebs is interested in prosecuting, but by his beloved masters. Who hung him out to dry today. “The world’s smallest violin plays.”
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Say hello to The Internet of the Future! Where USG shills are hosted on an “infrastructural”, one-way TV-style “Internet”, and everybody else gets to inhabit the remains of the old, DDOSable kind.
- After Schneier, of course. ↩
- The DDOS-enabling design of the Internet as we know it is no accident. ↩
- “Carding” is a crime which happens at the pleasure of certain banks, who profit handsomely from it. This is not an especially well-kept secret. ↩
- Public-key cryptography has been around for quite a while. ↩
- We’ve found, one can surmise, only the tip of the Birthday Theorem iceberg thus far. ↩